08 Feb Writing gives me purpose
I choose to write because it brings structure to my mind. It helps me find peace, and it assists me in understanding what I am going through. In a way, writing has given me parts of my life back. It has given me hope again. And it’s given me purpose. Everyone wants to feel alive, have hope and know that they serve a purpose in the world.
Maybe writing helps me feel useful, keep sane in an sometimes insane world. Writing allows me to reach the souls of others. It’s a way to touch someone and let them know that they are not alone. That their thoughts are valid, that someone gets their troubles and understand their pain,
The writing was first a distraction and a source for me to try tracking the changes in my eyes, kind of like a research paper. Not in a thesis kind of way, but more like. Maybe I’m missing something that’s right in front of my eyes. At least that was my hope. I thought I could mind map the problem, find the answer to the missing medical solution & I would get the “fix” to my eye pain.
I believed that there was a cure and that science, rational thinking and my need for relief would lead me to treatment. I have learned a lot through writing, but I haven’t learned about a true cure. New treatment options are surfacing. For almost all of the cases I have listened to, their RSD did not start in their eyes.
I have learned many things through writing, these I believe are the most important:
- That we should always hold onto our dreams.
- That no matter what you face, you must have focus.
- That you can never afford to let anything take your will to survive.
- That you must be flexible to remain living a productive life.
- That survival is possible if you can find enough will to live.
- That pain can take your mind if you let it.
- That you must always keep getting back up and fighting.
One of the best lessons is that I now realize that the human spirit has so much more strength than we are even able to comprehend. Writing has helped me realize that strength can be used even when you are suffering unimaginable pain and that maybe if you change your view of the suffering, the physical pain and the emotional hurt (that even though you are hurting) you can still find joy, purpose and you can find some happiness.
That’s what my collection is about. It’s about people experiencing life and all of life’s challenges and still finding a way to survive. It’s about standing tall in your truth about whatever it is that you are going through, you could be going through pain, illness or something that is causing you to have a disconnect or break from the life pattern you wanted and dreamed of for yourself.
So when you find a way to connect, even though you have a break in that bridge, you can find ways to rebuilt to help you return to society as a more fuller happier being than you have been in the past.
I don’t have full use of my eyes, and I don’t often have pain free moments. But when I can function, I function with purpose. My thought is maybe the reason we have the battles we do, is to find out how strong we are.
You may not get everything that you want back, but you can get portions of your life back. You can learn to smile again. You can actually help others smile and you can find ways to enjoy the rest of your life. Even in a compromised state, we all have a